this painting is part of my fluid series and has gone through several transformations before becoming what it is today. it started with a completely different pouring. while the paint was still wet, i suddenly felt the urge to wipe the entire first version away with a paper towel and start all over again.

i created a new blue background and let the colors flow, blend and find their own shapes. then came the black brushstrokes, covering parts of the pouring in the center. a way of processing something i’ve carried with me for a long time: the pain from my school years, the feelings i didn’t really have a place for back then.

things that stayed with me long after that chapter of my life had ended.

and then came the light. bright, vibrant colors finding their way across the darkness, transforming the painting once again. yet parts of the original pouring are still visible beneath the new layers. they never completely disappear.

somehow, this painting feels like a reflection of what it means to live between two worlds.

i often feel caught between different versions of myself, between the life i’ve known and the life i’m longing to create. between the comfort of what is familiar and the freedom of exploring the unknown. between the person i used to be and the person i’m still becoming.

maybe that’s what makes this painting so personal to me. the dark and the light coexist. the old and the new become part of the same picture. neither completely disappears, and neither tells the whole story on its own.

we can’t always change what we’ve experienced. some things leave traces and become part of our story. but they don’t have to define everything we are.

for me, healing isn’t about pretending the pain was never there. maybe it’s about allowing it to be part of our story while making space for new colors, new experiences and new versions of ourselves. we don’t have to choose between the worlds we carry within us. maybe we can let them coexist, allowing every version of ourselves to become part of the picture.

somewhere between pouring art and brushstrokes is a symbol for all that space.