l i t t l e p e a r l

07 october 2025                                                                                                                  kuta, lombok

now i am here on my journey through indonesia, surrounded by so many magical places, and sometimes i find it difficult to put my gratitude and happiness into words.

every day, i feel a little more connected to the honest and original version of myself that stayed hidden for such a long time beneath fears, doubts, worries, noise, and all the superficial things. the version of me that is free from outside influences and from thoughts jumping around like little monkeys through the jungle.

this journey became a journey back to myself. a journey where i slowly get to know my inner world, my needs, my heart, and my light. a journey where i learn to love myself a little more every day and slowly begin to find more happiness within myself. because maybe the happiness we are all searching for has been living deep inside of us all along.

over time, we simply lose our connection to it.

like a little pearl hidden inside an oyster, buried deep beneath the sand on the floor of the ocean. if we are willing to search for it, to keep our eyes open, and to face even the darker parts of the ocean, one day we will find it beneath the sand and when the oyster slowly opens, the pearl begins to shine.

its light is warm, calm, peaceful, and clear. it shines from the depths of the ocean and reminds us of what truly matters in life. through its light, we begin to see life differently. we recognize the beauty of nature, the beauty of life itself, and the beauty within ourselves and every other living being.

the original beauty of this pearl within me was covered. i felt disconnected from myself, from life, and from the present moment. i couldn't truly see what a privilege it is simply to be here, to breathe, and to be alive. but this journey through indonesia slowly became a journey back to my pearl. back to my honest, unfiltered self. back to the little susi who had been there all along.

i am learning so much here. about myself. about life. about happiness. about different cultures. about nature. and about what truly matters. i am learning that life can change within seconds. that we are constantly changing. and that every day we become a slightly different version of ourselves and slowly, i feel myself becoming more and more like a version of me that shines from within.

sometimes i imagine diving deep through the dark water, searching the sand grain by grain until i finally find the oyster. i hold it gently in both hands, full of gratitude, calm, and presence. i look at its surface, its texture, and its beauty. i hold it close to my heart and can already feel its warmth, even before it opens completely.

and perhaps that is the most beautiful part of this journey.
understanding that we cannot open the oyster from the outside.
it opens by itself.
from within.
exactly when it is ready.
until then, i hold it gently in my hands and trust its light.